Lady

It's Sunday evening and I'm travelling by bus from Cochin to Bangalore .

I like my solitude, and I appreciate it whenever I get it. So naturally I prefer travelling alone because I get to read a wonderful book and eat whatever I want without someone constantly nagging/harping/making me feel guilty about it.

However, the lady next to me is not going to let me off easy. She is a Tamil Brahmin, settled in Cochin/Bangalore/Chennai. Her constant chatter seems alright in the beginning but it quickly spirals quickly into a whirlwind of of words and I'm less than happy with the transition.

Conversation more or less goes along as follows:

Gran: "So what were you doing in Cochin?"
Me: "Umm... I was visiting friends."
Gran: "Oh. So where do you live?"
Me: "Bangalore."
Gran: "Are you from Bangalore?"
Me: *Deep sigh* "No, I'm from Kerala."
Gran: "From Cochin?"
Me: "No."
Gran: "Where are your parents?"
Me: "They're from Tiruvalla."
Gran: "So you live in Bangalore."
Me: "Yes."
Gran: "And your parents are in Tiruvalla now?"

At this point, I suspect her having a sixth sense about my parents. I hate mentioning the fact that my parents live abroad. Don't ask me why. Maybe it's the constant teasing or the presumptions, but I try as much I can to avoid mentioning that tidbit about my family.

Me: "No, they're not in Kerala now."
Gran: "Then?"
Me: "My parents live abroad."
Gran: "Ok. Where?"

Let's just say that Interpol should have hired her. You can fathom that I'm least interested in the conversation.

We quickly get to where we stay in Bangalore and we find out that we're next door neighbours. So she asks "Let's share an auto, shall we?" I ask her gently, "You do know the proper address, right?" She retorts back, "Of course I do!" **

To cut the story short... we retire to sleep after she establishes the facts that her son works in an American Software company and that her Cochin house is so large that she can't handle the entire household.

It's Monday morning. As we get off the bus, the auto drivers all start screaming out ridiculous prices to take us to our homes. One guy quotes Rs 150. I shoot back "Do you know that it's barely Rs 50 to my house?" And then the lady intervenes and speaks in Kannada to the driver, settling on Rs 100. She beams at me saying "Oh, I know Chennai rates. That's why I was able to bargain." I look at her speechless, because I know for a fact that I could have reduced the rates to Rs 60 (Oh alright, Rs 70).

I follow her quietly, saying to myself that it's ok since I'm paying only half-rate. I have three heavy bags (filled with books I had taken from my friends' place), and I refuse to let the auto driver even touch the bags because that would mean an automatic increase of Rs 50 in the final fare.

I shovel my bags into the auto and we finally set off to our common destination. During this ride, while I'm shivering in the cold, the lady rants about her American Software son who's studied MBA in US and her other son who's currently in UK...

Why is it that old ladies think that we're remotely interested in knowing crap like that? Do I look like I have a grown son I can boast about? Or am I to fall in love with her dashing, American-educated son? Or is it that I'm to feel humble about my own scholastic achievements? It's not like as though he studied in Harvard or MIT or something. Seriously, sometimes people just rattle off names like US and UK expecting others to get impressed. I, however, do not get easily impressed.

When we near my home, I lean over to ask the driver to take a left turn when the old lady says to me 'I'm not familiar with these roads. So you can get off now.' (Refer sentence marked '**') I'm like, 'Umm, didn't I pay equal--' She cuts me off with a 'please'. So there I am, thrown off (ok, exaggeration) the auto with my heavy bags. I give her one look and start the trek (ok, fine, another exaggerated point) with my bags.

It's rather unfortunate that I live in the first storey of a building. I have to lug everything upstairs.

I imagined the lady to be a stereotype of a 'sweet old grandmother'?

But I got duped.

And hence my bad mood *scowl*.