Jam... and Not the Strawberry Kind

I've been living in India since the age of 18. I came to Bangalore when I was 23. The thing that used to infuriate me 8 years ago and that still infuriates me is: cutting lines.

People fail to understand the concept of 'queues'. When they see a queue, what goes through their heads are: 'Cannot understand order. Must disintegrate and create chaos. Chaaarrggee!!'

At my office, we need to x-ray our bags when we leave the premises. Obviously at peak hours, there's bound to be a long line of people waiting to get through. There is this unbelievably annoying woman who, in spite of being sufficiently educated (I remember having learnt about queues in Social Civic classes during the 2nd grade), comes reasonably late, looks at the long queue ahead of herself, cuts in at the front and places her bag in the x-ray machine. Obviously, she is undeniably the queen of the world. I have seen her in action only once, though my colleague tells me it's a regular practice.

Over the weekend, I went grocery shopping at the local mall. Big mistake. Saturday night at the mall is a horrible sight to behold: people at their worst, trying to run over the others who may stand in the way of their trolleys.

I was at the vegetable counter, trying to get my items priced. His Highness was clearly behind me in line, but placed his veggies on the counter before I could. The A/C was off. I was hot and sweaty and quickly reached my breaking point. I promptly shoved his veggies to the side and put mine in. Glares were exchanged but life went sweatily on.

The express counter is supposed to be for 10 items or less, and can be paid in cash only. Of course, nobody really bothers. So I, the idiot, stood in line with my 5 items, while people with overflowing trolleys stood ahead of me. Of course, most of them just had to pay by card. If the cashier tried to explain that cards were not accepted, the customers made a fuss. So really, the 'Express' counter was clearly anything but.

A lady with ice-cream cartons tried to cut in front of me. I, taking advantage of my wide body, wouldn't give her an inch to slide by. The result? She took her place behind me and shoved the cold ice-cream boxes against my back. Puurr-fect.

Another shining example of people's total disregard of maintaining rules is the auto rikshaw driver. He won't go where you want to go. And if he does take you there, he swindles you so that you can't go anywhere else. The public transportation law states something, but clearly he is above it all.

I have to admit that when I came to Bangalore for the first time, I was pretty passive and docile with strangers. I held onto my traits as staunchly and as long as I could.

I'm not the same anymore. And you can't be the same, either. It's not Bangalore that's the problem. I guess every other city has it's demerits. And if you need to survive, you need to adapt.

I only wish that it were good changes that we were taking in. Instead, more often than not, we get to see the ruthless side of others and they of us.

For Matrimonial Purposes

Gone were the days where the girl shyly takes tea to the boy whilst their parents look over approvingly. Gone were the days where the glances and sneak-peeks at each other were 5ms long at 10ms intervals.

So what has the pennukannal come down to ?

Well, take my household.

Sunday, 10:30 am
Dad: "We are going to see 2 boys today. We'll meet one at the mall at 4pm and the other at 6pm."

A low groan from my sis.

Sunday, 2 pm
Mom: "I'm not feeling well. I think we should invite the boys to our house."

A loud groan from me.

Sunday, 3 pm
Dad: "Why can't you girls be clean and tidy?! *Loud sneeze!!* Why do you have to have books everywhere?"

Me: "Why do you always criticize us? I didn't KNOW that we had to be military clean every day of our lives!"

Mom: "Do you have to argue NOW? Somebody help me get out the good tea-set!!"

My sis: "My eyebrows look ok?"

Mom, addressing me: "You look so fat in that! Go and wear something else!"

Me, grumbling: "The boy isn't coming to see ME."

Sunday, 4 pm
The boy (lets call him X) comes over. We introduce ourselves to X. After a short while, we leave X and my sis to speak in private. I occupy myself with F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

After half an hour, we come back and quickly send him off on his way.

"Well?" I asked my sis. "You guys certainly had a lot to talk about."

"He did most of the talking... On his cell phone with his friend!"

We discussed some more and decided that X was not worth it. He was dominating, arrogant and rude.

Neeexxxt!

Mom: "Oh no!! The next boy will arrive just in time for StarSinger Finale!!"

Sis: "Mommmm..."

Mom: "I've been waiting all month for this day!"

Sunday, 6 pm
The boy (Y) arrived. Blah blah. I left my sis alone to watch Chandler being right for once. Blah blah.

It was already past 6:30 and Mom was getting pretty restless. Y and Dad were totally into his career and the different aspects of mechanical engineering.

Me: "I think it's time to start cooking our dinner."

Mom joined my sis and I in the kitchen as I peeled and sliced onions for our sausage curry (Yum!).

Mom: "My Star Singer!"

Me: "So, did you like him?"

Sis: "He's very paavam and conservative... I don't think he'd appreciate our sausage curry."

Me: (Gasp) Naahhiiinn!

Mom: "Great. In that case, I'll scare him off. I'll ask him if he wants anything to drink (as in liquor)."

Sis, laughing: "And what if he says 'yes'?"

Mom winked and said: "In that case, that was a test! I'll show him the door!"

Sunday, 7 pm
Y finally left.

BTW, the Finale of StarSinger went on till 11pm. My mom slept happy. :P

My Second Korean Phase

This trip to Korea has been a helluva ride.

It has been all about work. 24/7.

There were days when I couldn't wait to get on a flight back to Bangalore. Days where I'd run to the office rest room and cry because of the immense work-pressure I felt. Days where I'd come home late, too tired to cook and have dinner.

Weekends -if I had any- were crap. Xmas and New Years were terrible.

I dreamed about the day when I'd be free from my load.

I left S Korea today.

But this is me wanting to go back.

I know I'm crazy... But, if given a chance, I would only do it all over again.

:)

Random Link

Read this.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

Why We SHOULD Have Secret Code...

A true-life enactment of Murphy's Law:
You're in an elevator with friends. Enter person about whom you suddenly remember a juicy tidbit. You're itching to tell your friends. You automatically switch to your regional language only to realise your friends understand only English.

Darn. A good opportunity lost and then you think maybe you should encourage Pig-Latin. :)

Home Sweet Home

After one and a half years, I came back to the UAE the previous Saturday morning.

I guess you can call me a snob, but I like travelling in 'Ish-style'. So I always prefer Emirates. This time, however, I felt the need to be responsible as my parents now live in Ajman (Another emirate of the UAE) and not in Dubai anymore. So the nearest airport would be Sharjah and the flights would be limited to Air Arabia.

Air Arabia is a budget airplane. I booked the tickets with trepidation, consoling myself that it would be a red-eye flight and hence would be more concerned about sleep rather than food and entertainment during the actual flight. And I was right. I was so tired that all I wanted to do was curl up and sleep. But I also found out why people prefer Air Arabia. The seats are bigger and there's more leg room. Since it's a night flight, you dont spend the extra money on food. You do have to pay for your own blankets though. Another plus point: Sharjah Airport is much smaller as compared to Dubai Airport. You really don't have to walk that much to get to the exits.

My home place hasn't changed all that much since I last left. Yes, there are more malls. Speaking of which, I went to Dubai Mall, the day I landed, with my sister, brother in law and my mother. Dubai Mall, is supposed to be one of the Gulf's biggest malls, but I didn't really take it to heart. 'How big can it be?' were my thoughts. I didn't think anything could surprise me anymore.

But I was wrong. Dubai Mall is HUGELY big. I was tired after I finally got back. And we hadn't even covered 25% of the mall!

Anyways, I felt like a country bumpkin that day because a lot of things have changed from my day. The information screens, which were placed at strategic points all over the place, were touch screens. Touch and you'll find where you need to go. Touch and you'll find a list of shops that you're interested in. The restrooms- well, I've seen sensor taps before. They're common in India too. But I was a lil surprised to see sensor flushes. You place your hand over a screen once you're done and it automatically takes care of cleaning as long as your hand is still on the sensor. This looked so much more cooler than the multi functional toilets back in Korea.

Ok, enough about toilets!

There were shops that I had only heard of in books and movies: Bloomingdales, Ralph Lauren FOR KIDS (Yes, you read right!!), Tiffany's, House of Graff... The jewellery on display was especially amazing, though kind of depressing because I knew I couldn't afford a single piece.

We visited a small-scale aquarium. Even though it was small sized, it still looked remarkable. There were sharks as well as manta ray among other giant-sized fish. And I know that these are all artificially enhanced containers, but aquariums have this connection with nature that can take your breath away. :)

A few of my girl friends think I'm slightly off but I like electronics stores just as much as the next guy. It's always fascinating to see how technology keeps advancing with the blink of an eye and you should always keep abreast of it, I think. My bro-in-law loves gadgets too. So he and I spent a considerable amount of time at a particular electronics gallery, ooh-ing and aah-ing (guy style, of course) over some, while comparing prices of others. My sis and mom were waiting impatiently outside. 'What took you so long?' my sis demanded after we were done. I couldn't help supress a smile.

Anyways, this one mall was a surprise for me, with all its Ice Rink, Water Fountain, Gold Souks and all.

I'm going to Dubai again tomorrow. I hope to be pleasantly surprised again! :)

The Hindu Taliban

I dread reading tomorrow's newspaper.

Last weekend, yet another woman (this time a journalist) was assaulted by two bikers on Mount Carmel road. The journalist was punched in the face before she quickly recovered and grabbed the pillion rider's shirt. The man fell off the bike but both of the riders managed to run away. Cowards. They have no issues in ganging up on lone women but are such wimps when they're challenged back.

First of all, good for the woman because she managed to hit back. Second of all, it's such a pity that she couldn't do more (like kick those men in the family jewels, for starters).

Any person with an ounce of common sense and tolerance condemns the Mangalore pub attacks. It seems that the Bangalore attacks on women have been inspired by the Mangalore ones.

I fail to understand the psyche of an individual who feels it's Indian to abuse and assault women. Who thinks its morally wrong for women to drink or wear jeans but feels its perfectly alright for men to do the same. Who stress that a sari is the icon of Indian culture. Yesterday, inspite of wearing a salwar kameez, I still attracted the wrong kind of attention on the street. Say, wasn't I being 'Indian'? Why did those perverts still materialize? It's like, no matter what you do, you end up losing anyway.

The attacks affair is more than just about inequality (men can do this; women can't do the same). It's also about the inability to tolerate others who live around you.

Last time I checked, India was a free country. The SRS, Muthalik or similar clowns can't dictate what people should and should not do. Apart from anything else, it's in violation of a human being's basic rights to freedom.

By the way, how different is the SRS from LeT? As far as I'm concerned, SRS is just a few steps behind. All the SRS needs to do is kill women. Else they have pretty much 'terrorized' women anyway, which is basically what LeT does: terrorize people. Such groups, needless to say, need to be outlawed and such miscreants need to be caught. Would the Government take such measures? At least to save their seats in the upcoming elections?

Am not sure about that. As for me, I now carry pepper spray in my bag since I usually travel alone. I've also saved my friends' numbers on speed dial.

So this is what the world has come to.