"Mirror, Mirror on the Wall...

... Can I be the fairest of them all?"

I'll admit. I have a beauty regime I strictly follow every Saturday evening. It's one of those ways I use to relax myself and I also do it so that I do not look horrible the following Monday morning.

When I told a guy friend about this, he started ranting about the evils of cosmetic products and procedures and finished off with "Whatever happened to natural beauty?" The very next moment, he got distracted by a very pretty woman, wearing at least an inch-thick of makeup, walking by.

Once back in college, while I was talking to a classmate, he looked at my arms and asked "Why don't you shave your arms? And your skin tone seems uneven. Why don't you do something about it?" I was surprised that he noticed all of this. I asked him, "Why do you give so much importance to looks? Why is it a definite must for all girls to look pretty even if it's through artificial means?" He shrugged his shoulders and said "Girls have to look pretty. That's the way it is."

Then we have women who sometimes involve themselves in some competition of sorts. Who's the prettiest? Who's the slimmest? Who's the trendiest?

We are all equally guilty of setting standards when it comes to beauty and rules about what we should and shouldn't be. And being humans, we are apt to being insecure when we don't meet those standards and we succumb to the pressure of it all. That's when we ramp up to do something about it. So if cosmetics helps the process, why be a hypocrite and crib rather than accept it?

I understand that it can be a vicious circle. The latest of products claim to make you look younger/fairer/prettier which makes you buy them which sets the new trend for 'beauty' and so on...

I wish I lived in a world where external appearances meant nothing. But I don't. What I can do is either choose to be unconcerned about it and be happy with what I have even though it may mean being one of the uglier ones or I could get 'help', be more prettier and be fine with it anyway.

What I'm trying to say is that natural beauty is almost a thing of the past. It's very rare to find. Cosmetics, when not used in excessive amounts, are good and help ease at least some of the pressure a person finds himself/herself under.

Unless something radical is done to change the concept of beauty or people are suddenly blessed with tremendous amounts of self-esteem, cosmetics will always be used. By men and women alike.

So get used to it.

Yes, I'm still alive!

Right then. I'm back after a REALLY long Sabbatical.

Excuses? Nada except plain laziness and the fact that I'm constantly under the watchful and rather prying eyes of my manager and let's not forget that I'm just a very very VERY busy girl. By the by, the last one was not only an excuse but also a downright lie. :D

Here's a link for starters: How To Save A Life

Y'all must have heard this one about a million times, but I'm ashamed to admit that I got around to listening to this one only say a few days ago. Some songs move me and this is definitely one of those. For those who don't know, this song is about troubled teens. I get choked up especially during the chorus and I have to say that the singer sings with a lot of emotion, which can be pretty difficult to convey. That's my opinion anyway.

Speaking about music and emotion, I've never really watched American Idol. When my sis got back from her biz trip with around 15 GB of American Idol '08 on her HDD, I was mildly disgusted. 'Umm, hello, don't the words Scrubs Season 7 mean anything to you?' I wanted to ask. Anyway, I decided to give it a chance and...

... My OH my! Not only is David Cook (American Idol '08) a very talented and an original singer, he is also super cute! :D Anyways, his prior experience in music gave him an extra edge in the competition and he reinvented a couple of risky songs which sounded great. To say the least, I am a fan.

Moving along, my family is in town. That event by itself is worth around 2-3 blog posts. :D

Aaaannnd me signing off this short note before my manager gives me the evil eye for the FOURTH time today.

:)

Women Vs Weight

** This short post has been inspired by Scrubs Season 2 Episode 3 titled 'My Case Study' **

There are, perhaps, only a handful of women who'd honestly and confidently say, 'I'm the right size and I'm happy with my body.'

The rest of us fair, lesser mortals are doomed to whining about our over-sized (or undersized) busts, bellies and behinds (However my pet peeve are my 'biceps'. They fall under the over-sized category. In your face, Yokozuna).

My own life is really a chart from Chubby to Overweight to Obese to Plump and back to Annoyingly Overweight. There has never been a Just Right.

W vs W is a timeless battle and I personally don't have any girl friends who have won the 'war'. I guess you can blame it on the fashion industry who decides what is the next size 0 (If I got it right, it's currently 32-24-32) or maybe even that big group of male jerks (oops, did I just anger my male friends? You're not part of them, sweeties!). But in the end, it all boils down to your own self-esteem.

I admire those handful of women who don't really care how their bodies look. They haven't let themselves 'go'. In fact, they are the only ones who truly appreciate themselves and know what's really important in life.

I'm striving to be like that. To be Healthy and forget about Weight. Obviously it's very difficult. But definitely achieveable.

:)

Sandeep

A chubby face. Barely any strength left. Trapped in his body. Unable to speak. That's how Sandeep Menon, my batchmate, spent his last few hours on earth.

If I could imagine his free spirit right now, he would be hovering right over my shoulder, laughing at every word I typed. 'Trapped?' he'd say, 'Damn right! But chubby? Give me a break, I was still as handsome as ever!'

That's how I remember Sandeep: Funny, enthusiastic, positive, this one bright beam of energy.

He was not my close friend. I can't tell you what his favorite color was or how he liked his food. But he was one of those magnetic personalities whom you couldn't draw away from.

Everyone from my college days knew who Sandeep Menon was. And almost everybody can tell you how he touched their lives.

In my case, he gave me that extra shot of confidence. He never once made fun of my broken Malayalam. Called me pretty when I felt least so. And when I was most worried about changing jobs, all he said was 'Go for it. You won't regret it.' And I haven't. Not one bit.

Like I said, I didn't know Sandeep much. I visited him when he got sick for the first time. Met him a couple of times in Bangalore. Scrapped each other on facebook. After that, I didn't keep in touch.

When Sandeep got hospitalized for the last time, I didn't want to see him. I preferred to keep only happy memories of him inside. Call me a coward, if you will.

Sheryl let me know as we spoke on the phone, 'I can't imagine a world without him.'

I don't think a lot of people can.

Right now, I can't get myself to say 'Sandeep, may you rest in peace.' Because having known him, this would be more apt: 'Dude, have a great time at that never ending party in the sky'.

Anyway, Sandeep, my man, someday we'll meet again. Till then, I have to say... goodbye.

Musings

Ever get the feeling that you're the only constant factor in your own world?

Everything and everybody else is racing against time. People have their own agenda, own dreams to fulfil.

And you? You find yourself flailing about in self-doubt and uncertainity.

Sigh.

It's times like this when I get comfort from these lyrics of a song:'... Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives; some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't...'

Now I wait for that epiphany to strike...

Back to where I started from...

Knowing myself, I was sure that it was just a matter of time before I reached this state. So here goes: Personally speaking, I liked Korea more than I do Bangalore.

There's NOTHING to do here.

Maybe it was the novelty of a new country, but I truly had fun in South Korea.

Anyway, that put aside, here's news from my Bangalore-ian life: Someone's stolen my porch light bulb and I haven't seen my newspapers all week.

Ladies and gentlemen: Welcome to India.

To All My Friends...

... See you soon because BABY, I'M COMING HOME!! :D

Yes, today is my last day in S Korea. I'm heading back to Bangalore tomorrow morning.

Am I unhappy to leave Suwon? Sure, coz these are the things I'll definitely miss:
1. Being able to stay out late (this includes work/late night movie shows/midnight cravings for M&Ms which lead to trips to HomePlus)
2. Pollution-free AND traffic-free commutes to work
3. The lack of bloody-thirsty autorikshaw drivers.
4. The luxury of having someone cooking for me
5. My weekend outings :(

Oh great. Now I feel sad.

Buuut I hope I'll get a chance to come back at some point and go on that trip to Everland. :)

As of now, there's no place like home. Right? :)